Tales from the Children’s Centre

POSTED BY HA

Going from midwife care for nine months back to regular GP care is quite the crash back down to earth. During the last trimester of my pregnancy, I was in hospital quite a lot due to high blood pressure, and the midwives were always so amazing; from giving me sandwiches to hugs, I don’t know how I would've survived without them. The hole left in my post-pregnancy life by them has been kind of filled by health visitors…

Emphasis on the words “kind of.”

It just so happens that every appointment with a health visitor at our local Children’s Centre has involved some sort of bizarre, blog-worthy experience. Today, I shall share two of those with you.

The Breastfeeding Police

Let’s start with the very first appointment we had. In we walked (me, my husband and Baby K) and as we were settling down in the waiting room, out of nowhere a woman appeared in front of my face. I kid you not, it was if she had materialised out of thin air. Then this happened:

Woman: Hi there! Are you bottle feeding or breast feeding?

Me: Erm, bottle.

Woman: WHAT? Why???

Me: Erm, well—

Woman: Did you have any problems?

Me: Well, yes.

Woman: What? What was the problem? (At this point, she actually had a hand on her hip and a very stern look on her face)

Me: Hang on… Who are you???

Woman: (pulls out her badge and introduces herself as a “breastfeeding support someone”) Its VERY important that you speak to someone about this. What exactly is the problem?

Me:  Well… I've already discussed this with midwives and my GP…

Woman: (shakes her head in disappointment, totally ignoring what I've said) Your baby is probably used to the bottle by now, what a shame. There are things you could try. Was she latching properly?

Me: That wasn't the problem. And I’m not really comfortable discussing this in a waiting room full of strangers, WITH a stranger. Thank-you but please leave us alone.

(I’m probably remembering myself answering in a more confident and firm way than I actually did).

So harsh are the Breastfeeding Police that they almost make you feel like formula is poison. And almost always, they assume you could have tried harder to make it happen. Please. Take your condescending crap somewhere else.. Yes, we all know what the World Health Organization says, and “Breast is Best” and “Human Milk for Humans” and whatever other slogan you've come up with. Sometimes, however, there is no choice but to resort to formula. 

And when that happens, no woman should be made to feel any more guilty about it than she probably already does. We’re all doing the best we can.

An example of such guilt-mongering: 

Where do I even start with how smug and RUDE this is?! There couldn't possibly be anything more offensive to bottle-feeding mothers, could there? Oh wait, wait...

Yeah. These photos are real.


The Woman Hater

Moving onto our most recent appointment. Have you ever encountered women that hate women? I'm not talking about explicit hatred; I'm talking about the women that make constant unnecessary and snarky comments about you (or other women) to your face and especially if there is a third-party male present too.

We encountered one such health visitor just the other day. There I was, making sure I had my notes in order and holding a sleeping baby in my arms, when she called us in. Naturally, husband dearest picked up the baby bag as his hands were free. No-one cared or batted an eyelid; why would they?

Except the woman-hating health visitor that is. 

"Oh my! How strange to see a MAN holding a HANDBAG! Well, that is very strange indeed!"

She said this loudly, followed by awkward smiles from the husband and I.

First of all lady, its a baby bag, not a clutch that I could have stuffed under my arm and managed with. Secondly, it probably weighs much heavier than the baby itself. And thirdly, mind your own business!!

She then asked if this was my first baby (and continued to refer to her as a "he" throughout the meeting, no matter how many times I corrected her). I said yes and she said "I can tell from the way you're holding him."

Right. 

The cherry on the icing, however, was when just a few minutes into the meeting, she decided she knew everything about us and declared "I can tell you're the anxious one here. Your husband is much more calm and relaxed but you're the anxious one."

And I promise you, I was actually extremely relaxed and not even anxious about anything at all till she said that.

More tales from the Children Centre to follow in future blog posts, no doubt. Till then... Peace and love to all, especially you bottle-bashing, women-haters out there!

8 Things No-one Tells You About Having a C-Section

POSTED BY HA

Coming up is an important milestone for me, which will mark three months to the date that I went through two life-changing events: 1) on 16 July 2014 I was blessed with a daughter, Baby K; and 2) I had a cesarean.

I have to differentiate between the two things and treat them as if they are entirely unconnected, because my feelings towards both are completely opposite. Baby K finally entering the world was the most exciting, emotional and overwhelmingly happy moment of my life so far (as I’m sure any mother will say of their child’s birth), but on the other end of the spectrum, going through a c-section was the most scary, painful and overwhelmingly shocking experience of my life so far.

I have wanted to write about the latter for a while now, because no-one talks about cesarean births in the way that they talk about natural births, do they? We hear in graphic detail about contractions, tearing, who took what pain relief, etc. I attended three antenatal classes and left feeling so well-prepared and positive about going into labour, but not once were cesareans discussed, even though according to the NCT approximately a quarter of births are by c-section. It may not sound like a lot, but to put this into context, the NHS Maternity Statistics covering 671,000 births for 2012–13 showed over 75,000 were by c-section. So we’re talking about a whopping 75,000 women that year that I would be willing to bet money felt as surprised at how little they knew about what they would subsequently go through, as did I.

But it’s not just the women that go through it that need to know; it’s everyone else they may interact with as well, because I have heard some real, tactless gems in the past few months. My favourite is this: on my way home from the hospital, I had walked to the car with great difficulty just four days post surgery, only to discover I had completely forgotten how to strap in Baby K’s car seat (and no one else knew either!). So there I was, clutching on the seat to keep it steady during the drive, in pain from walking a distance more than the ensuite bathroom and with high blood pressure, gritting my teeth every time we went over a speed bump, when a close friend called to say congratulations. She then told me I was lucky, at least I didn't go through the pain of natural labour, and had the baby taken out for me with no fuss.

So, here are a few things I’d like to share with anyone else that might also think a cesarean is easy, and that I wish I had known too. Mostly, this post is for all those out there that have been through this too, as a sort of *virtual-high-five-sister* (please note some of it is pretty graphic, so if you’re pregnant, easily scared or simply don’t want to know, turn away now):

1. You feel everything:

Unless you are rushed to surgery in an extreme emergency, you will not be under general anaesthetic. You will most likely be given an epidural (an injection into the back that numbs the lower half of the body), and while that means you don’t feel any pain, you can feel everything else that happens during the operation. The sensation of being “unzipped” when they cut into you, the stretchy, pulling feeling when they open you up to take the baby out, and the feeling of the baby’s limbs travelling out of your body… everything.

You don’t just lie there as if you are on a massage table in a spa while all the “hard work” is done for you. The operation theatre is cold (I shivered throughout the operation. And I mean the teeth-violently-clattering type shivering), and not for one second do you switch off or forget that half of you is currently cut wide open.

2. You will need a LOT of pain killers:

Until the effects of the epidural wore off, I enjoyed some indescribable time with Baby K. We stayed in a small recovery ward, skin-to-skin and it was the most precious and emotional time. And then the epidural wore off.

Nothing, no blog post, could ever describe the pain. I still don’t know if it was the pain of post surgery or the uterus contractions every woman gets post partum (when your uterus begins “shrinking” back to its normal size) but I cried. I told my midwife I was going to pass out with pain. She gave me paracetamol and told me to try and relax. I did. It didn’t work, and I insisted they do something, anything, and eventually they gave me the maximum dose of morphine that they could, intravenously.

And a few hours later when the morphine wore off, I went through it all over again. I just couldn’t understand what was happening. The c-section was over, Baby K was out. Why was I in even more pain than before? FYI, I had also gone through 16 hours of contractions before the operation. But this was something else.

BUT here’s the thing: if I had known that this might happen, or if I knew that there would be a lot of pain coming, I would have coped much better. I would have been mentally prepared, and as only you can know your own pain threshold, I would have asked for pain relief earlier or possibly even in advance. My pain threshold is so low and I just kept thinking, it’ll get better, but it just got worse. And if I had known that, I would have insisted on the morphine straight away.

3. You have layers of stitches:

Around eight days post-partum, I had my third home visit from my midwife. I asked her (rather naively, in retrospect) why I felt so much pressing pain in my wound. She put her hand on mine and told me it was time to know what exactly the operation had involved; it would be difficult to hear, but she assured me that I would feel much better being in the know afterwards. She was right.

Contrary to the idea that a c-section involves one horizontal cut, baby out, and you’re closed back up and that’s it, you’re actually cut and stitched up layer-by-layer. There is skin, tissue, and muscle before you even get to the uterus! I understand the number of layers can differ, but in my case (and in most) there were SEVEN layers of stitches!

As my kind midwife informed me, having a tumour or appendix removed would be less painful. A caesarean is major surgery. Again, had I understood its magnitude from day one, perhaps I wouldn’t have been so hard on myself for still being in pain only eight days later!

4. Even laughter hurts:

Any activity that involves engaging your abdominal muscles is quite painful for a good few weeks. Mostly, this can be managed by minimising such things like getting up, walking, bending over, etc. But what always caught me off-guard was the pain I felt doing something so natural such as laughing! Similarly, how do you stop yourself from sneezing or coughing—both equally painful?

Later, I read somewhere that if you hold a pillow against your abdomen when sneezing, coughing, laughing, whatever, it hurts less. This means I should’ve kept a cushion/pillow handy at all times (maybe one that could double up as a baby feeding pillow), but once again, I just had no idea.

5. You still experience post-partum bleeding:

Despite not giving birth naturally, women that go through caesareans are often surprised to find they have to go through the same post-partum experiences as those that do. This includes post-partum bleeding and a noticeable need for pelvic floor exercises (no need to elaborate on either, I think!)

6. You might put on a lot of weight during your post-partum period:

I wrote “might” because I’m not sure if this is true for everyone, but was certainly true for me. I put on a lot of weight during recovery—more than I did throughout the entire pregnancy. The reason is simple: you need to eat a healthy diet of 1,800–2,000 calories whilst recovering from this major operation, and at the same time, you can just about walk to the bathroom and back (i.e. you’re eating more than ever and not burning any of it in away).

It wasn’t until I was three weeks post-surgery that I was able to manage slow and short walks of about 10–15 minutes. Now, almost three months on, I still cannot imagine being able to do any type of exercise other than walking.

This is not to say I haven’t tried… just two weeks post-partum I went to Westfield (shopping centre). And more recently, I ran through my local supermarket in a rush. Both times, I suffered for days afterwards.

This point probably links the most with the next one.

7. You are more likely to experience the baby blues:

Everyone, to some extent, goes through a dip in emotions at some point post-partum. Looking back, however, I can now see and acknowledge that I went through more than a few dips and was most likely slightly depressed. In fact, research has shown that women who have a caesarean have a six-fold increased risk of developing postnatal depression. After nine months of waiting for your baby to arrive, and looking forward to being “yourself” again, you suddenly find yourself feeling worse than ever before.

For me, the moment I realised I wasn’t feeling quite right was when feelings of guilt kept creeping into my mind. Yes, guilt. Can you believe I found myself feeling guilty for not giving birth naturally? Of course, I knew that it was not my fault; the c-section likely saved both mine and Baby K’s lives. But I could not help but feel like it made me less of a mother for not having given birth the way nature had intended. Though she was fine, thank God, I felt as though I had somehow failed my daughter.

Luckily, I was well aware of the signs and symptoms of post natal depression, having witnessed a friend go through it just a few months previously. I recognised pretty quickly that was I was feeling/thinking wasn’t true and kept telling myself it would pass (as did my husband) which is why I think I did not slip into it fully.

Emotional support is crucial. If you already know exactly what to expect and are fully prepared, but have no emotional support, you will struggle. On the other hand, even if you have no idea what to expect (like me) but have a good support network around you, you will be ok… eventually! So make sure you don’t hesitate to reach out to your loved ones, your partner, your friends, whoever you want; most likely they want to help but don’t know how! By turning to them yourself, they’ll be relieved that you’ve done so and will step up.

Finally, I want to say something every woman that has had a c-section told me, and whether or not I believe it, I have repeated it to myself like a mantra every single day: you will feel better, one day, you WILL feel better. (Here’s hoping).

"I Wish I Wasn't Your Daughter"

POSTED BY HA

First things first: I love my mama! Like most people, I think she's the best mother in the world. So the title of this post is definitley not me. Its the absurd, far-too-long name of a new Pakistani drama on TV here at the moment! Props to the producers for making a drama that for once  is moving quite fast... In just a few weeks, the story has unfolded quite a lot. BUT it just gets more and more ridiculous and horrifying. I had to sit down and write about it. Its like I need therapy because I've watched this!

The main character: a girl called Khushi (happiness) and her nickname is Pagli (madness). And she's very... well, happy and mad.

The storyline: Khushi comes from a super poor family. When she was a kid, she had a male best friend who she loved like a fat kid loves cake. Drowning in ever increasing poverty, her parents sell her (yes SELL her) to a super rich family. The oldest son is happily married but his wife can't have children, so they buy (yes BUY) Khushi for a year. She'll have his baby (which will have to be a boy, of course) and then her "husband" will divorce her and send her back home. Upon doing so, her family will get some more money.

Why does Khushi do it? She has no idea whats going on, the dumb twat. She thinks she's marrying her  childhood BFF that's just come mysteriously turned up again. She doesn't even mind that he's already married. True love, eh?

In short, she makes her new hubby fall in love with her, probably because of her "happiness" and "madness" one can only guess. And as luck would have it, she's pregnant now too. So what does her husband do? Illegally obtains miscarriage-inducing pills, spikes her orange juice with them, and gives them to her. He tries to abort their baby so that she can stay with them longer! Otherwise, she'd have the baby and have to leave!

At this point, I made a decision: I am stepping out of the room when this show it on. Disturbing on SO many levels!

What ever happened to simple love stories? You know... like she's super poor, her childhood BFF comes back, marries her, they both work hard, pull her family out of poverty and hey presto! Happiness all around?

The Pakistani Tea Party: Some Point to Note

POSTED BY HA

Tea is huge part of the Pakistani culture. So much so, that if you say "I don't drink tea" you get something similar to the reaction of Toula's aunt in My Big Fat Greek Wedding to her fionce not eating meat: "you don't eat MEAT?!?!" Shocking.

You see, a cup of tea with your family, curled up on the sofa, watching tv at the end of long day can be the best thing in the world. But serving tea to aunties you havn't seen in months and have little in common with, while your tea-serving standards are ruthlessly scrutinised  = not so fun.

It goes something like this, and if you are Pakistani/South-Asian/live in an area with a large population of Asians, chances are you can relate to at least one of the points below:

1. First thing to note, Pakistani "tea guests" will rarely call before coming over. If you do get some notice, it'll be an hours notice max. More likely is a call to ask "are you home? because we've just pulled into your street!"
   
   
2. A minimum of three-four snacks to accompany the tea are expected. No way around this. You only have one thing to serve? Just biscuits? Well forget it. Forget the tea altogether. Thats just insulting. Its an insult to the tea itself! Your going to be cussed much less for not offering ANY tea than you are for a half-full table of accompaniments.
   
   
3. There should be at least one deep-fried snack. Acceptable are: kebabs, samosas, pakoras, spring rolls and cutlets. Not acceptable is anything healthy. What is this brown bread, low fat, sandwich? Or sugar-free rusks? Conclusion: too cheap to buy enough oil to serve proper (ie. fried) food.
   
   
4. You must, I repeat MUST, offer your guests everything at least 5 times. Do a count in your head. If you fall short, they are going to call you inhospitable. And if you really want to impress them, use different words each time. Forget the normal "would you like some cake?" You've got to mix it up with a bit of "I made this cake especially for you" (ie. I was saving this to eat whilst watching Glee later, dammit) with some pushy "have some more." Simulatenously shoving a slice on their already full plate helps too.
   
   
5. And finally... if your guests don't leave an inch wider around the waist and fuller than if they'd had dinner with you instead, then its all over for you.

Disclaimer: All of the above is true. All characters appearing in this post are not fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely the truth.

Why Comfort Eating is Overrated and Banana Cupcakes Recipe

POSTED BY HA

For reasons I'll explain in my next post, I am feeling DE-pressed right now. Majorly. So I'm on the dangerous slope that is Comfort Eating. I finished the box of chocolates I treated myself to less than two weeks ago and as the store that sells imported chocolates is a bit far from home, I've taken to baking. It all started off with an innocent enough Zuchinni/Courgette Cake and pretty much went downhill from there. Chocolate cupcakes, orange yoghurt cake, trifle, chocolate mousse... I've made them all in the last couple of weeks alone! *gulp*

My family, on the other hand, must be loving this little "phase" I'm going through. Like yesterday, when my husband was full from dinner and then I bought out a tray of banana cupcakes, he was so pleasantly surprised that for a split second I thought "hey, maybe this won't be just a phase. I should do this everyday!"

And then I ate three of the cupcakes and actually felt my clothes slowly yet surely get snugger around my waist and almost burst into tears.

Comfort eating is not supposed to have guilt attached to it at the end! Whats that about? So I go to all that effort to feel better (comforted!) only to end up feeling tired and guilty AS WELL AS still upset?! Well thats crap. I need a new comfort plan.

Comfort painting?
Comfort cleaning?!
Comfort movie fests??!

Anyway, whenever you feel guilty after eating something, it generally means it turned out good. Really good. So I'm going to spread the guilt a little and share the recipe!


Banana Cupcakes with Pastry Cream Topping
(Makes about 15)
Recipe inspired by and adapted from Brown Eyed Baker

Ingredients:

1 1/3 cups plain flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3/4 cup sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla essence
3/4 cup ripe, mashed bananas
1/4 cup yoghurt 

Preheat your oven to 160 degrees celsius (320 fahrenheit).

Meanwhile, put the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a bowl and using a hand whisk, stir them together. Or you can sift them together but this takes longer and you can achieve the same goal (ie. combining them all evenly) but just stirring together with a whisk too.

Then, put the oil, sugar, egg and vanilla in a seperate bowl and using an electornic whisk, mix it all up. Add your flour in two additions, alternating with the yoghurt. So you would add some of the flour, whisk, add some yoghurt, whisk, etc. Don't over whisk at this stage; a couple of seconds is enough. You just want the flour to be incorporated without ruining the texture of the batter by over mixing.

Finally, stir in your mashed bananas and thats your batter done! Pour into cupcake cases and bake for about 20 mins. Of course, this will vary from oven to oven so just keep an eye on it from 15 mins onwards.

For the topping,  Brown Eyed Baker suggested pastry cream goes well with this, instead of traditional icing. I've never made pastry cream before. In fact, I wasn't even sure what it was!! A bit of reading up told me I do know this actually: its used to fill eclairs and also known as crème patisserie. I was super excited about making this because I love, love, LOVE ecalirs, profiteroles, etc! To be honest, I was a teeny bit disappointed as it was more from the custard family than it was from the cream family. But I persevered and piped some onto my cupcakes anyway and am glad I did. It goes really well with these particular cupcakes. Alone, the banana taste in this might be too rich, but this gives it a really nice balance without the heaviness of icing.

I used Joy of Baking's pastry cream recipe, because there was a video with it too. Note. you need to make and refrigerate this for a couple of hours before using, all explained in the video.

I didn't take any photos myself because my camera was upstairs and I was being lazy! So you'll just have to trust that they looked exactly as the original creator's did:

Taken from Brown Eyed Baker's blog. Links above!

An Ode to Take-Out!

POSTED BY HA

You know those days when just the thought of the kitchen makes you feel like hiding under the bed? When that whole "Happy Housewife" malarkey feels like a distant concept as understandable as Sanskrit (or as NK would say, something a Man probably came up with)! Well the morning after Eid felt exactly like that. After slaving away in the kitchen till 1am the night before, the number of total dishes served alongside MIL's cooking turned out to be such a ridiculously large amount that no-one really noticed the velvety texture of my chocolate mousse, the creaminess of the béchamel in my moussaka or even the six layers in my trifle! The next day, the thought of even looking in the direction of the kitchen made me want to puke.

God bless my Husband for occasionally saying the totally and completely right thing at the right time. Times like that a wife is suddenly flooded with the "yes-thats-why-I-married-him!" feeling, which (if you are super lucky) lasts ALL the way till he next speaks ;-)

What were these golden words of his? "Don't cook. We'll get take-out."

I swear I actually heard that operatic "Hallelujia!"

Its become a sort of weekly thing for us, getting take-out. It might be more or less in your houses, but how often do we stop and really appreciate the possibility of picking up the phone and ordering food to come to you? My god, in Pakistan you can even order a milkshake from McDonalds to be delivered to you if you really want! (I've done this... Ultimate definition of "a moment on the lips, two years on the hips").

Anyway, so this particular occasion, we went for BBQ Tonight, a favourite of ours. We always get the "charga" (a full chicken, barbequed with Pakistani spices) and then add things to it, like pilao or a karahi. There was even some charga left over for me to shred and chuck into an omlette for breakfast this morning! Dee-lish.

I love how despite the fact that in many ways, moving to Pakistan has meant leaving behind a lot of "luxuries," there are things I can do here that I couldn't do in London, like:

• have any and every restaurant deliver to me, including the internationals like Nandos, Chicken Cottage, McD's etc;
• eat freshly barbequed food as if it was just bought in from my back garden, without doing any of the hard work myself; and
• marvel at the delivery boxes! None of the standard cardboard affair for BBQ Tonight my friends... Their food comes in those sturdy, microwave-safe, plastic storage boxes you can stuff your leftovers in, which I'm pretty sure I have about 10 of now! (I guess the not-cooking was as far as I could leave behind the Housewife in me).

Men and Food: As Straight Forward As We Think?

POSTED BY HA

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, right?

Who the heck even came up with that?! Ok, I know some people think men are "simple" creatures (note. from the sentiments towards them you'll have read in NK's posts, clearly we are not those people) but SO simple that a good meal is enough to win them over totally and completely?! And if that is true, where are these men?

I live in a house with four other men: my husband, his two younger brothers and my father-in-law. That's a lot of testosterone for anyone but can you imagine what its like for me, the only child that lived with her mother and no other male for 25 years? I often see them do things that are probably SO normal to people used to being around guys, but I'm like *jaw-dropped*

For example, all the nudging to each other when an ad with Katrina Kaif in it is on tv, and then the no-blink stares at her. I'm uselessly yelling, "these kind of ads objectify women! Imagine if that was your sister that random men are oggling at! We should be united in our war against portrayals of women as marketing tools! This is beyond sexist!"

Yes. I am way over the top sometimes.

Ok I may be not be big fan of hers (ie. slightly jealous) but even I can't resist a London photoshoot!

Anyway, point of this post being that before I came here, and even during the years I was engaged to my Husband, I had only the standard male stereotypes to guide me on what living with men would be like... and now I'm wondering why has no-one corrected these? They are not (that) true....

Take dinner time. Prior to getting married, I honestly thought that you feed a man an AMAZING meal and hey presto! He's so grateful/impressed you can pretty much he's like "Katrina who?" *Ba Dum Chhh* so off I ventured into the kitchen to produce these extravagent dinners: curries with fresh cream, homemade sauces, breads in every shape and flavour, roasts, casseroles, humungous sandwiches and desserts to die for!

Only for my awesome Husband to politley inform me he is the least fussiest eater in the world. I needn't kill myself; he'll eat "whatever!" Can I just point out here I am actually grateful he's like this (in SHARP contrast to his brothers... the abuse over food their poor mother deals with!) and its not like I'm trying to win him over or anything, we are very happily married! BUT now I'm actually an okay cook. And everytime I make dinner, theres a secret part of me that wants him to make those ridiculous "mmmm" noises on the first bite and exclaim "you are just amazing! best.wife.ever!"

Such self-absorbance, I know.

Funnily, its actually my girl friends that are super impressed with a fancy meal! NK practically begins her day with a message to me asking what I'm cooking today (eternally grateful for her support in my self-absorbance) so maybe we have all the stereotypes the wrong way round?

What To Do With a Courgette... Or Two

POSTED BY HA

We call them courgettes in England... My family in North America says we are totally wrong and they are actually called zucchini. And then I come to Pakistan where my mother-in-law politley informs me this is, in fact, "maaroo."

I don't see these green yummies that much here, so bought a kilo worth when I was out this week, only to find all the boys in my house (Husband, his brothers and father-in-law) flick pieces of courgette from my big roast veg tray to the side of their plates. I was really hurt on behalf of the poor courgettes.

Anyway I had two leftover and was stuck on how to use them up when I cam across this recipe.*

My excitement at making this was more about whether or not anyone would figure out there is a vegetable in it than eating a delicious chocolate bread, which is exactly what it was. So moist and so light! Chocolate anything is usually quite heavy, but this was lovely which is probably why I had three slices (nothing compared to Husband's five I guess, *gulp*)

Also, I didn't have a loaf pan and just used my mother-in-law's oval cake tin.

*I've only ever tried one more recipe from this site: eggplant wrapped kebabs, which was yummy. Next, I'm trying the Greek stuffed tomatoes/peppers!

OH and not one person figured out there was "maaroo" in this! Husband did eventually but only when I narrowed it down and said "I'll give you a hint: green veg you didn't like!"

And now its ALL finished :-)

iDrool

POSTED BY HA

The mortification of waking up having drooled on Mr Husband’s arm was too much. I had to write about it. As I’m still cringing hours later, I’m hoping this will be therapeutic for me. 

This (and other “human” behaviours) may not be a big deal in some marriages. Who knows, maybe 10 years down the line it won’t be to me either! But for the moment, I think we’re still in that relatively composed phase. I mean I would not burp/belch in front of him (ever… not 10, 100, or even 1,000 years down the line!) and he doesn’t do your typical disgusting manly things in front of me either (like fart, ew. I’m not uptight I promise. I just have major issues with public gassy exchanges, as well as other uncomposed behaviours).

So when I discovered I had drooled on him last night… what can I say, I’ve been very disturbed since! As with all other disturbing instances in life, I turned to my friends immediately. A quick email later, I discovered that IR has been there, done that (sorry for outing you IR by the way). And I’m wondering, what other weirdo uncontrollable behaviours are we doing in our sleep that we don’t even realise?! 

I know I used to grind my teeth! I don’t anymore, thank God. But when I used to share a room with my mum many moons ago, I remember once she got up, walked over to my bed and SLAPPED me in my sleep to make me stop! By the way, my mum is a super gentle person, so the slapping just goes to show how bad the grinding was. Needless to say, we stopped sharing a room soon afterwards.

But apart from that (and the common embarrassing sleep problem: snoring—which I don’t do…yet), what other sleep “disorders” are there out there? (And how many are my friends guilty of? That’s what I’m curious about!) 

I Wikipedia’d this:

• Periodic Limb Movement Disorder (oh my god this one may be less embarrassing more useful to use if your partner annoys u… a karate-chop or strategic kick in bed could be followed by “oh I’m so sorry, I think I suffer from PLMD!!!” You see why this post is important?)
• Somniphobia (fear of sleep) I’m going to be suffering from that soon, if I have even one more drooling incident! 
• Sleep walking. You know what, I’ve never really taken this one THAT seriously before but apparently, people have been acquitted of murdering their wives, mistresses, even mothers-in-law using the “sleepwalking defence!”

Anyway, back to my drooling problem, I am going to sleep with my hand forever tucked under my cheek from now, so I can catch any unwanted saliva in future! Alternatively, I’m going to see if there are any hypnotherapists near me and ask them to hypnotize my mouth into never, ever misbehaving and embarrassing me like that again.

Shopping in Islamabad

POST BY HA

Islamabad FINALLY has bigger shops, more variety, and better fashion. Hallelujia! If you've ever been to Islo, you'll know how terribly it compares to Lahore and Karachi, but something is happening here nowadays. It seems like all the bigger brands have suddenly noticed our tiny capital and an influx has taken place in the last year alone.

I first noticed this when Zahra Ahmed came to Islo. I'd previously only been to the store in Lahore and found it to be a fun and more unique ready-made store than your standard Generation, etc. Soon after, I noticed a sign go up on an empty building saying Gul Ahmed Opening Soon! This was super exciting for me because my weak spot is cushions and bedding. Strange weak spot, I know. But how some people feel when they walk into a shoe store is how I feel when I see a beautifully made-up bed in a department store. The cushions, oh the cushions... Cushions are a genius invention: providing comfort as well as extra beauty!

ANYWAY, point being that whereas Gul Ahmed clothing is available at various stores in Islo, a Gul Ahmed store is a different affair: three floors of mens clothing as well as womens, handbags, shoes, stitched clothes as well as unstitched including kurtas, and lots of bedding, curtains, towels, etc! In the last few months, not one but TWO Gul Ahmed stores have opened up here.

And as if that was not exciting enough, right next to one of them, Nishat Linen have opened up their third Islamabad store, called a Nisha Boutique. The boutiques carry a wider range of ready-made clothes than the normal Nishat Linen stores. Just last year there was only one Nishat Linen here!

I also noticed yesterday that Cotton Ginny is opening here soon too. And stores I'd previously only seen in Lahore can also be found, such as Threads & Motifs, and Needle Impressions. Plus a lot of existing stores have opened up more outlets, like Kayseria and Bareeze. So all of these add to Khaadi, Cynosure, Chen One, Junaid Jamshed, etc, and Islamabad being so small and easy to navigate around means we finally have some decent shopping to offer.

Contrary to the excited tone of this post, I don't actually go shopping that much here... There's usually only one of the following reasons I do:
1) someone has asked me to (such as family abroad or a friend visiting);
2) I'm buying a present; or
3) its summer/winter and time for a wardrobe injection!

It was No.3 that took me to the streets of Islo yest and I was so pleasantly surprised at how much the shopping scene is improving here that I've sat down to write a blog post about it! With so much political turmoil, inflation, instability and security tensions here, it sometimes feels like everything will come to a grinding halt soon. Its so nice for the opposite to happen in reality :-)

Recipe: Biscuit Pie

POST BY HA

Before moving to Pakistan, dessert-making almost always meant a trip to the Sainsbury’s to buy something very specific to that treat: mascarpone, blanched hazelnuts, this type of flour, that type of sugar, etc! And then I moved to this side of the world, where I could still get these things at special stores (at imported prices!) but the nearest “market” behind my house only humbly sells the basics of life… certainly not mascarpone *sob*

Thats the story of every market near every Pakistani housewife here I guess. So the array of cooking shows (tens of channels dedicated to nothing but cooking!) are majorly welcome, because they make a point of using ingredients easily available to all here. But instead of compromising on the quality of the recipe by simply skipping ingredients, these clever trevor chefs teach you relatively easy ways to substitute them, so now I can make ingredients from scratch that I really would never have bothered with living a stone’s throw from my much-missed local Sainsbury’s in London…

I’m going to share the latest recipe I tried last night… Biscuit Pie! However, Mr Husband tells me its more a Biscuit Pudding than a pie, so we’ll just call it Yummy Easy Dessert :-)

Got this recipe from a very popular morning chef here called Shireen Anwer. Here’s the link to the video (but it is in Urdu and and to save you the time watching it, I’m writing it up anyway): http://zaiqa.com/recipe/11604/ek-handi-daal-bhaat-biscuit-pie-and-savory-cone-by-shireen-anwer

Yummy Easy Dessert(easily serves 6-8)
Two cups Marie* biscuits, crushed in a food processor
4tbsp melted butter
1 cup curd cheese**
2 eggs
Half cup double cream
1tsp cornflour
1tbsp Orange Tang***
Half tin condensed milk

*You can use any biscuits you want really, such as Digestive, but just make sure they don’t have a taste too overpowering or it will interfere with the filling. The closest equivalent to Marie biscuits in the UK would probably be Rich Tea?

**This chef uses curd cheese as an equivalent to cream cheese quite a bit. Either go for cream cheese instead, or to make curd cheese, take a thin piece of cloth (like muslin, though I confess I tore some off an old shirt I no longer wanted!) and place it in a sieve with a bowl under the sieve. Now pour about 1.5 cups of natural-set yoghurt onto the cloth and leave it all in the fridge for a good few hours (I left it overnight). All the watery whey will drain into the bowl under the sieve leaving you with 1 cup of thick, delicious curd cheese.

***Again, this is a Pakistani thing. Tang is basically powdered flavour you add water to for an instant squash. Skip this altogether if your not fussed about the orange flavouring. Alternatively, add a couple of drops of vanilla essence instead for a different but equally nice flavouring.

To make the biscuit base, preheat your oven at 180 degrees and generously butter your pie dish. Put the crushed biscuit crumbs inside. Now pour in the melted butter and gently rub with your fingertips till all crumbs are coated. Press the mixture down into the dish evenly, making sure to raise it along the sides too. Then pop it in the oven for about 3-5 mins. Lets go with 4.

Take it out and let it cool. Meanwhile, throw everything else into your blender and blend. And thats your pudding filling done! Pour it onto the biscuit base and pop it back into the over, this time for 20mins. Take it out, let it cool down and put it in the fridge (this is a serve-cold dessert).

This is great to make-ahead. I made mine around noon to have after dinner. I would definitley use this for tea instead of after dinner next time though. Reason being, its quite rich, so if you’ve had a heavy dinner (in Pakistan, lets face it, every dinner is a heavy dinner!) then it can be a bit much… But saying that, 6 of us devoured this last night and there were no leftovers!!

Hmmm, should’ve taken a photo really. Next time!