Who said Accountants were boring?

POSTED BY SK

If someone said to me ten years ago that my chosen career path would be accountancy I would probably have laughed my head off and ran the other way… little did I know ten years later this is what I do.

The old traditional view of accountants of being polite, boring, number crunching and are not very social or have any social skills were views that I had too prior to embarking on actually studying to become an accountant.

I worked in a transport company prior to this one and that was run like a concentration camp the manager was the office Hitler and the senior management were Hitler’s in training. I moved to a technology company where I realised not all workplaces were like the one before.

Where I was punished in my last company I was rewarded! I was so badly rewarded with a brilliant department to work in. Everyone was cool, chilled out and if you work in my office it consists of the following rules:

Never leave your computer unlocked – this will be raped by someone or another in the office, I did this once where I sent an email from my colleague’s computer to our boss telling him how much she loves him which popped up on his laptop which was connected to a projector screen in the middle of a meeting with the UK VP for Finance.

Never leave your phone unlocked – these are also subject to being raped by someone, on my phone messages were sent to different people on my WhatsApp, my profile picture was changed to me pulling me leggings up from my dress but looked like me pulling my knickers out instead. Also my name was changed to hoe.

Never get in close proximity to another colleague – someone will be waiting for you to be in close proximity and pictures will be flying around on WhatsApp and in some cases pictures will be printed and stuck around the office!

Items on desk - Will constantly be moved or changed these include the handsets from your desk phones will be unplugged, so if a phone call comes through it takes 5 seconds to realise they cant hear you - this has happened to me many time. 

Stationary will go missing and will turn up in random places such as a stapler in your handbag the hole punch in your laptop bag.

Food will also go missing, my strawberries i bought to work were found on the top of a filing cabinet - I in turn put K's cigarettes in the toilet waiting for her to locate where they are.

If you are still single we will pair you up with any new starters in the company. At the moment we are pairing up my colleague D with everyone who joins the company. if you are not single we will still pair you up with every colleague in the company!

Never do poses in the office which include bending forward and leaning into your computer you never know who will take a picture of your bum – you will see why as you read below.

Never leave your handbag in in open view – you will be subject to the following – hole punch paper being emptied in your bag, toy rats and spiders stuffed in there ready to scare you when you least expect it.

Let me tell you of my typical day at the office on Wednesday – I walk in between 9.15am and 9.20am my start time is 9am but I never make it on time. Neither does my manager or most people in the department so who will bollock us if we are late?

Then I worked for most of the morning at lunch took a 2 hour break as we were buying a leaving present for one of the VP's of the company. One of the present consisted of a chocolate slab with the following

Dear X

Thank you for leaving us you traitor

Love your colleagues at (A) oops (B)

(A Was our old company name we have recently been acquired and now we are B)

Then at 3.30pm my colleague K left her phone on her desk I went in and messaged a group chat that she was a hoe and in the meantime changed her WhatsApp picture to a picture of her bending down so her bum is on display and also changed her name to a hoe! (Btw I hacked her phone by watching her type in her pin not that she knows this she thinks she left it unlocked! Rape 2 of the phone will happen next week!)

In between all this got some more work done and now its 5pm so I thought I should start my next blog post!

So to clear you misconceptions of accountants – we are definitely not boring all we do is play pranks on other colleagues all day and in between get some work done!

Every accountant has a habit of swearing a lot, politeness goes out of the window as we draw closer to month end.

I am the most social person out of this group and if you ever are with me not a moment goes by without laughing!

SK

Job And Holiday Highlights

POSTED BY SK

Hello! Wow time has really flown by we are now approaching the end of 2014 and our last blog post was in 2011!

I was really happy when IR said she wanted to re-start the blog I think it will definitely achieve 2 purposes for me

1 - HA has said my written English is not great as I don’t use commas and full stops. (Note, I used a comma and a full stop!)

2- I read back our posts from 2011 and I had a smile on my face and giggled to myself reminiscing over that phase in our life – NK was not married her post married blog will be a fun one to read! We also have 2 new additions in the kids of the group and 2 to follow very soon. If nothing else when I need a smile and laugh I can always come back and read our blog!

So these are the highlights from 2011

Qualified as an accountant – well what can I say, it was 3 years of hard work, tears, tantrums, mentally planning on ways I can murder the examiners, almost killing my husband and myself in the process! Had it not been for my lovely friends especially JN who has supported me so much since 2010 I don’t think I could have done it.

I remember saying to the husband 2 weeks before each exam – don’t talk to me, don’t ask me for anything, don’t even breathe in front of me because I cant guarantee I will reply to you in anything else but swears. This is why, when I qualified the husband has said no more additional qualifications please you not only ruin your time but you ruin mines too.

When I received my last exam results, I thought it was important to have JN with me. I remember frantically waiting in JN’s living room for the clock to strike midnight and wait for the results to be messaged to my phone.  JN’s husband grabbed my phone in case I smashed it against the wall if I failed.

When it came to ten past midnight me and JN were worried because no results had come through and were so nervous that we were almost screaming at each other why they haven’t come through yet that JN’s husband calmly said they are here and you passed!

At that point I can’t remember who screamed the loudest and I finally breathed a sigh of relief!

I still need to break the news to the husband that I am planning on doing the MBA next year LOL!

Travels – I finally made the trip to my dream destination in December 2013 the Maldives. It was also the year that I and the husband celebrated our ten year wedding anniversary. What can I say it was exactly what I imagined it to be if not better. We had a water villa which the husband insisted on when we arrived there and it was really private. I loved hearing the ocean before I went to bed. The husband hated hearing the ocean whilst going to bed and complained he couldn’t sleep, secretly he worried a tsunami might happen. The Maldives was perfect for 7 days it is exactly as you see on the internet I had some of the best food out there it was so peaceful and so relaxing. We were so lucky to have beautiful weather for all the days we were there no a single raindrop in sight. It was only the morning we were leaving did it rain heavily and we had some thunder storms apart from that it was beautiful! We also combined with Dubai for the second week of our trip and I love Dubai JN and her husband was there too and we had such a good time! The husband and I love going to Dubai last year I regretted not extending my stay to see New Year’s Eve in Dubai so this year quite last minute we booked Dubai again to experience New Year’s Eve there!

Originally we wanted to go to Mauritius I have found my holiday destination the Indian Ocean where I can completely relax. However, peak season means paying triple the price you would usually pay and so we decided to leave this for our wedding anniversary or birthday’s next year.  

Wow I’m shocked I can only think of 2 highlights since 2011! But as I remember more I sure will add to the blog!

The Curse of Working!

POST BY SK

I totally agree with NK when did it get too hard?

I remember our time in uni, during the 3 years it was all about making depressing movies funny. During that particular instance in our room me NK IR and JN started of watching the movie, as usual JN and IR fell asleep and me and NK were waiting with tissues for a reason to cry. Suddenly, everything in the movie became funny especially the dances!

Those days were the days! It consisted of smoking shisha at breakfast, getting our student loans and  becoming rich overnight, spending it all on shopping, sleeping till 4pm, making our friend SS wake up at 3am to go get us kebab rolls cos we were hungry, annoying our neighbours Bob & Eileen, endless water fights and house parties!

How times have changed  6 years on from uni my routine is getting up at 7am work like a dog till 4pm, come home fit my exercises in the evening and spend some time with hubby. At the same time try and study for the ACCA which, should be renamed Association of Cruel and Confused Accountancy. Its cruel cos it has 14 exams and its confused cos no one gets it!

Its the curse of working peeps just when you think your saved from it, it comes and bites you in the backside!

I don't think anyone enjoys work those that do have no life! Bring back the days of laughing at sad movies and sleeping till 4pm!

It's Too Hard!!

POSTED BY NK

So just as you think life can't get any worse,  it does..............

A brief background on me:

I'm the single one in our group

Working like a D O G

A bit mental  - like chicken oriental

and the good looking one ;)

Soooo is it just me or is everyone stuck in a dead end job, working like a freak, having serious issues in their personal life, hating on men ( so understanding lesbianism) and constantly thinking,  life is a BIYATCH!

The crapness all started with sitting in SK's room in the first year of uni, and we were contemplating, should we watch a depressing movie or attend tomorrows lecture, obviously the latter was decided upon and we ended up laughing like hyenas throughout.  From then we were never serious, well I was never serious about anything and have moved on to be in a crappy job, stressed out me face,  when I was supposed to be a married woman getting fat!!!

So now I'm in a job where I am so fed up, that I will clearly tell my manager I am sick to death with this and am looking for another job, all the time.  He's pretty transparent with me and tells me how he's doing the same, amazingness!!  Now SK has finally got me to book my F3 exam (accountancy) next month!!!!!! I'm not sure why I'm telling everyone this because you'll all want to know the results, even though no one's following us yet - whatever that means!!

That's my career, well lack of. Moving onto the single life where all aunt’s look at you at every party and think you're this choosy, high maintenance, bitch of a woman, so therefore not married. When actually they need to realise a few things.... well one thing:
 Men are dogs!!
Based on this I wanted to start writing some books,  some of the titles I have come up with:

> Men make women lesbians
> Man is never understood because he's a Mental Anal Nutcase
> Selfish Selfish dog men!

(By the way I don't mean the word dog literally - its just you know for weird, crapness, freakish behaviour ....basically anyting bad)

So I hate the way men just don't get us.  We are made differently, is it so hard for them to understand that.  Change is hard for a man and adapting to things around him is difficult too, saying that if you do find the right man, and he's a sweetheart, hold on to him.

I am a very confused person just like HA (she is VERY confused) but life is just so unpredicatable and you've got to roll with it, so I guess our opinions and views on things do change.  I have a million thoughts going through my head all the time, like at the moment I’m thinking I need to make tea after this!

At the moment I do have a lovely man in my life but like always things aren't as clear cut as they should be. I may tell the story later but let's leave that for another day.  The starting to this blog will make a lot more sense then too.

Love you followers.  I'd like to call you initialuettes!  As you're following our initials :)